You Raise Me Up
by Sam1
Summary: A brother tries to cope with the pain of losing a brother. Rated T for some swearing. Deathfic.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Tracys or International Rescue. I'm merely borrowing them for this story.

**A/N:** This story just popped into my head whilst listening to Celtic Thunder's "You Raise Me Up". A tissue or two may be needed. sam1

**You Raise Me Up**

"It always hurt me worse to see disappointment in your eyes than any punishment Dad could have given. He was my father but you…you were my role model. You were the one I wanted to be like." I kept my gaze down to hide the tears that prickled at my eyes. I picked up my glass and downed the amber liquid, wincing as it burned its way down my throat. With a weary sigh, I poured myself yet another.

A warm breeze tousled my already unkempt hair as I leaned back against the tree I always sat by when we came here. The small cove was a picturesque hideaway that gave us a place to get away from our younger brothers, the stress of International Rescue, and each other if necessary. Scratching at the stubble that covered my jaw, I closed my eyes, trying not to remember the last few days but the days, weeks, months, and years before them. "Everything I learned about being a big brother, I learned from you. But I never figured out how you learned it all. How you seemed to know when one of us was in trouble, hurt, sad, or just needing reassurance."

Swirling the contents of my glass around, I took a deep breath, "Or when we had achieved a goal and Dad wasn't around. You were always there to cheer me…us on. You never made us wonder if you were proud of us or not. You made time for us even if it meant that you missed out on something you wanted to do." A single tear trailed down my face as I gulped down my drink. Wincing again, I grabbed the bottle – one of several – that I'd lined up within easy reach and refilled my glass. "I know I was a pain in the ass at times. Always wanting to tag-a-long wherever you were going when you were a teenager. Hell, even after you went away to college and university, I still wanted to be in at least the same town or city you were in."

Staring across the cove, I saw not the scenery before me but a memory from our childhood. The sounds of the Island disappeared and I heard my younger self chattering animatedly about a recital that I had been part of. "Ms. Edwards said that I was the best pianist in school. I don't know about that, Scotty, but I know that you always smile at me when I play. And that means more cos you haven't had too much time to smile lately. And I want to do good cos then you'll smile more."

I gave into the tears that had been threatening, harsh sobs tearing from my chest. "You raised me up to be a better person." Glancing at the bottles lined up near me, I grabbed the nearest one and threw it as hard as I could. "DAMN IT, SCOTTY! WHY DID…YOU HAVE TO…RUN BACK IN THERE?" Gasping for breath, I ground my fists against my reddened eyes. "Why did you leave me? I grabbed another bottle and threw it as I had the first, taking little comfort from the sound of it breaking against a tree.

_From a rocky outcrop above the idyllic cove, a lone figure silently cried along as he heard the raw pain in his son's voice and sobs. Neither man noticed the ethereal glow gliding across the cove until it hovered just a few feet from where his brother swayed on his feet after throwing yet another bottle of scotch._

"Virgil, I haven't left you." Reaching out, the transparent form of my brother seemingly touched my chest. Right over my heart. "I will always be right here." Eyes burning bright, he continued, "If ever you loved me, you'll stop drinking. It does no good and may cause someone else the pain you're feeling now. Please, brother mine, grant me this one final request."

Tears flowed freely down my face when I saw the sadness and love in his eyes. "How can I get past this, Scotty? How can I stop the pain?" With my hand shaking, I reached out to touch him. "I miss you so much and I…I don't have you here to talk to."

"I'm here, Virg," he reiterated. "Even if you can't see me, I'm always right here in your heart and your memories." A gentle smile graced his glowing form. "You raised me up as well, little brother. I never wanted to let you down." Fading from view, Virgil and Jeff heard his parting words, "I love you all."


End file.
